This year, I did nothing but survive. I survived every suicidal thoughts that came into my mind, I survived every negative thought that made me feel I’m nothing. I survived the miseries to my failures and I started to hope and believing that the hour of success is coming tomorrow.
I did nothing but motivate myself to wake up with a positive mind. I mustered everything in me to keep myself from falling off track and give it all up because I felt so tired, the kind of tiredness that rest could never make up for, the kind of tiredness that makes you wish you could sleep for days and wake up just when everything’s alright. but in the end, I commend myself for trying, for surviving because after all, I get to see these beautiful things in front of me, feel this overwhelming love around me, and appreciate what I could grasp in my hands. I survived and so did you. with that, i’m glad.
Her: And why do you want your future with me, exactly?There are a lot of girls besides me.
Me: Why do I want my future to be with you? Because I loved you from the first sight, I know you are a caring person, honest, truthful, beautiful and intelligent, that you need to be loved accordingly :)/
Yes there might be a lot of girls, and surely they are , but you are different, in your own way, you personalities and behaviors, your reasoning and senses, and I know that deep down in your heart you really wish to be loved for who you are, you wish to be cared for, you wish to be loved unconditionally both secretly and publicly, all humans are given the portion of love./
Her:😲🤦♀️ Loneliness is better for me and it is better for my family to be confident in me. I do not think about these things. I want to stay alone and I am so happy.
I’m not good at this– I don’t care about anyone, no one cares about me. The reason I lose people is because I do not care, nor do I call, or talk to them, I am always like this in my self.
Me: Don’t feel alone anymore, for me it doesn’t matter whether you care or not, just know that today you have David who will live to accept you the way you are, and will live to care for you /
Life have stages, and you just haven’t met the one you will always care about, the one you will always worry about his situation, what he eats, what he drinks, how he feels, how healthy he is./
Her: loneliness is beautiful for me
David, I don’t want you to cling to me too much because I’m not very good at caring about anyone, and one day I will disappear ☹️
I will not stay with you forever
“I hope you find a girl who is better than me and is good at this”
Me: Don’t worry I’m good to understand loneliness and misery because they have been my best friends, to understand life, one must endure misery and loneliness./
“We shall all disappear, perhaps I disappear first”/
Her: I bear this loneliness and I think this is better for me. I do not want to be associated
Your loneliness was hidden behind your independence.
you thought you always needed to be strong though you were on the brink of giving it all up. Your dissimilarity from the crowd stood out, but little did you know, you were just like the ordinary people residing in this planet.
you also wanted your fears to be seen despite their invisibility from the naked eyes, your suppressed emotions to be heard in between your silences, your actions to be fully understood why you acted that way, when it all started.
and where you were coming from. your soul to be saved from your own misery.
You pushed people away, because the closest ones jaded your trust and broke your heart, all the love that was once stored within spilled out, nothing was left inside of you.
never never witnessed your own weakness, until that night you had your worst nightmare. You wanted those you loved to escape, and free themself from your cursed life.
Don’t worry, and that won’t happen anymore. For you will find someone who will be there beside you. I know You are used to being on the dark on your own and that one true person won’t offer you their light if you don’t want it.
but that one true person will stay, they won’t runaway. They will sit there with you, side by side, until you say, “Now you are okay”.
To the girl who constantly searched for her truer self, the girl who has 212 followers on twitter, a little more friends on Facebook, the girl who hated the existence of instagram, to the girl whose horror trikes like a thunderstorm while talking of her self.
To the girl who always found it difficult to start a conversation, the girl who was always befuddled while in the middle of congestive souls, and yet she grew up from the most populated city, a city where all humans are constantly busy, a city no one was shy, a city with all sorts of stuff, a city with over 210+M marvelous creatures.
To the girl who always thought she was boring and hardly started a conversation, a girl who was always lost in her own thought and found it difficult to know herself and figure out her existence out of millions.
To the girl who thinks her existence means nothing so would her death, with her perspicacious mind befuddling her own existence, yet the strong embraces their shadow while the weak denies its existence. Some Parts of who you are have been locked away and hidden within your unconsciousness.
I tell you today that the luminiferous aether with its vastness and by giving space, Sun by giving light and energy. Wind by giving vital breath, Water by being nectarine giving life and satisfaction, Earth by giving grains and upholding all to all fructify their existence.
I tell you today that stop trying to find who you are or trying to change inorder to be accepted. because if you are not interested in Yourself, life becomes more uninteresting that you wouldn’t be able to endure it.
Stop being a pity to the passersby in your own thoughts and imaginations, stop thinking that you are not fit in this human race , your existence matters, you will be loved for who you are, you will be featured to lead for who you are, your existence is a blessing to others, it’s the reason others live today , though you are yet to meet that one person, just know that: If our existence is for the welfare of others, it is meaningful. And Instead of thinking about that which you want to do think about who you want to be. Do you want to be more self-aware? Do you want to be more conscious? Do you want to be a better person? Do you want to be difference in the world?
Know today that you are A god, your brain consists of all magic and has the power to change everything, people, thoughts, and life, stop trying to please everyone or to be liked by everybody because the nature of life hinders us even from liking everybody.
Know today that you are the most beautiful girl of all time but in your own form,those enticing smiles belongs to you and not anyone else, those alluring self of yours that you thinks is a boring self is the most valued in the world.
Know that your existence is a total superstition, what you believes in is your true self, no matter how hard you try the world will always see the negatives in you and no one is perfect in escaping that reality.
Ever thought of the moon as it shines with the existence of the sun? But they are always great enemy, when the sun says goodbye it’s always a pleasing moment for the moon to say a new Hello and for this reason they are always a sworn enemy, so does life and all the homo-sepiens that exists next to you, some will be there to ruin your life and make it miserable and some will be there who always will have to finght for your smiles.
“When life is put into a total misery it becomes the worst thing to ever happen to man and yet it’s the most beautiful thing to ever happen to man”
You are not alone today as each of us share the same longing to be truly known and truly loved, to discover and know our truer self.
I was trying to sleep but for some reasons, I couldn’t stop thinking about the people who go to sleep feeling lonely, about the girl who sits alone during lunch and sighs at the extra sandwich her mother made for her “friends”. I can’t stop thinking about people who are waiting to be discovered and heard including myself and just..you know? Acknowledged? This world can be cruel at times. I often fail to understand how it works. I know we are all supposed to play with the cards that are dealt to us but it’s unfair. I don’t think so anyone deserves to go to bed feeling worthless. Nobody deserves to think that they are boring or insignificant. It breaks my heart to know that there are people who feel that way. A whole lot of them. And I don’t really believe in god but if there’s something up there that looks after each one of us, i hope that force makes some changes in how this world works. I hope the guy who has 653 friends on Facebook, 53 followers on twitter finds at least one person he can talk to. I hope the girl who loves to chat but doesn’t really have friends because of some shitty rumour finds someone she can talk about her crush to. I hope the old lady who waits for her son’s call finally wakes up to him coming all the way home to surprise her. I hope the middle-aged man who quit his job to pursue his talent finds people who believe in him. I hope people are okay. I hope, irrespective of where they are, what they do, who they are with, i hope with all my heart that people are loved and accepted and celebrated. I hope no story goes untold. Hope. I guess hoping is all i can do right now. And i think that’s enough to pass this night.
The bed that doesn’t make you sleepy isn’t worth it 🙂
YAMBIO DAVID 