There’s this exact void in me that no longer wants to be filled, that no matter how hard my closest and loved ones do, they will never fill up the empty space.
The reason isn’t about them not being enough; your fingers should be pointed on my direction. People around me have been more than any of help, they have been there since day one; and surely, they will be here on my darkest of days.
But here’s the thing:~ I also have my downtime. I am not happy for always, I can’t be. I, too, get overwhelmed, at times. I even feel like drowning on most nights. There are also days when I get too carried away by happiness that I become so excited, then it makes me so drained and exhausted. And on those instances, I tend to run on that vacant seat, on that nulled premise of my life, and settle myself on darkness, and just get a share of the break that I badly need.
It isn’t a paradise in here. It isn’t, hell as well, It is just a room for me to breathe in. It’s a place for self isolation; an expanse where I go just to figure out what’s happening again inside my head.
Sometimes, a pair of arms isn’t what I need; but rather a safe distance away from everything; a step back from reality.
•A survivor of the idiocracy•
YAMBIO DAVID 